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    The Times Of India 14th Feb, 2009

     
    This is the funniest of the mails going around on the debacle of the Indian Cricket Team at the World Cup.
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    The Times Of India 14th Feb,2009:

    India is playing in a 5 nation tournament ;the other countries being Uganda,Sudan,Papua new guinea and the mighty Bolivia.Today is a must win match for India against tournament favourites Bolivia for a berth in the semi finals.The winner of the tournament will fight for a place to enter the top 35 rankings in the world.

    On the morning of the match ,a strategy session is being held by Greg and Rahul.This is how it goes.

    Greg:Boys,this is one of the most important matches in the last three years.We have to beat Bolivia.Lets go through the batting line up and the bowling line up in this meeting.

    Greg:So Sourav ,you will open right?
    Sourav:I don't know.Bolivia has a pace bowler who only bowls short pitch deliveries.His pace is consistently in the range 55-60 miles /hour.I cannot handle all that pace.
    Greg:Oh,thats ok.He won't dare to bowl short pitch stuff against the Indian batsman(we have such good credentials).If he does by mistake,just to make a statement to the media,get Hit Wicket and come back.Such non sense should not be tolerated.

    Greg:So who will partner Sourav.
    Rahul:I think Sehwag should.He looked in form in the last game against Sudan.He hit 5 fours between first slip and second slip before he caught at second slip.I think he is in the pink of his form and he should open.
    Greg:Thats good.

    Greg:Sachin,you will bat at four ... ok?
    Sachin:I don't know.I have to go shopping at 11.That means I can't bat beyond ten overs.
    Greg:Sourav and Sehwag will last till six overs.So ,you will come then.Don't worry,just play your natural game and follow your instincts.You will go by ten overs.

    Greg:So Dhoni,you will keep?
    Dhoni:I am not keeping.Last time ,I kept for three hours.My hair is getting spoilt of this.I have thousands of lice in my hair.As a result,the cows in my village have started snubbing me and my advances.These days,dragonflies have started staying in my hair as their food lice is there.I need a haircut ,I am not playing.
    Greg:Please play just one more match,its the mightly Bolivians ,just one last one.
    Dhoni:Ok.Don't do it next time.

    Greg meanwhile was going through the batting averages and noticed that Dravid had the longest stay at the crease for the last 67 matches.So he asked Dravid to give a presentation in front of the team as to what motivated him so much and the secret to his concentration.
    Dravid:My wife is extremely ugly.So,I try to stay as long as possible away from her.That is why I play a low risk game(In the last game,he hit 3 runs from 92 balls) .If I get out,I have to go back to her.

    Everyone starts applauding .What an inspirational cricketer.

    Now it is time to decide on the bowling line up.

    Greg:Obviously Zaheer is opening.He was brilliant last game.
    (Zaheer had bowled only 23 wides in the last match and he picked up three wickets.The secret to this brilliant bowling performance was a result of a mentoring session from Venkatesh Prasad.Prasad told him that to bowl from mid off and aim at Third slip.As a result ,Zaheer returned with the best figures in the match.)

    Greg:Offlate I have noticed that Rahul has been facing a lot of pressure and so we have decided to come up with Batting,Bowling and Fielding Captain to relieve Rahul of some of the responsibility.

    Greg:I have noticed that Munaf Patel has stayed not out in the last three matches(all the other batsmen had got out by then).I admire the commitment of this lad and as a result he is the Batting Captain.

    Greg:I was also going through this figure.Sourav has been involved in 177 run outs.But he himself has never got out.He values his wicket so much.I think we all need to Congratulate him on the price he sets for his wicket.Sourav,you are the RUNNING BETWEEN THE WICKETS captain.

    Greg:Anil has been sitting on the bench for the last three years.He keeps taking snaps throughout the match.He is such a teamman.I think we need to recognize this loyalty.Anil,you are the Bowling Captain.

    Greg:Harbhajan is the fielding captain.
    Rahul:But he dropped the catch in the last match when he dived to his right to take it.
    Greg:Atleast he dived in the right direction.

    After this intense brainstorming session ,India looks all set to take on Bolivia.Please pray for the team's success.
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    Enjai,
    Puneet.H

    Fallen Tomato Cart - Subroto Bagchi

    I pass through this very intersection every morning with so much ease. Today, the pace is skewed. There is a sense of disarray as motorists try to push past each other through the traffic light. The light here always tests their agility  because if you miss the green, you have to wait for another three minutes before it lets you go past again. Those three minutes become eternity for an otherwise time-insensitive nation on the move. Today, there is a sense of chaos here. People are honking, skirting each other and rushing past. I look out of my window to seek the reason. It is not difficult to find because it is lying strewn all over the place.  

    A tomato seller’s cart has overturned. There are tomatoes everywhere and the rushing motorists are making pulp of it. The man is trying to get his cart back on its four rickety wheels and a few passersby are picking up what they can in an attempt to save him total loss. Though symbolic in the larger scheme of things, it is not a substantive gesture. His business for the day is over.

    The way this man’s economics works is very simple. There is a money lender who lends him money for just one day, at an interest rate of Rs 10 per day per Rs 100 lent. With the money, he wakes up at 4 am to go to the wholesale market for vegetables. He returns, pushing his cart a good five miles, and by 7 am when the locality wakes up, he is ready to sell his day’s merchandise. By the end of the morning, some of it remains unsold. This his wife sells by the afternoon and takes home the remainder, which becomes part of his meal. With the day’s proceeds, he returns the interest to the money lender and goes back to the routine the next day.

    If he does not sell for a day, his chain breaks. Where does he go from here? He goes back to the money lender, raises capital at an even more penal interest and gets back on his feet. This is not the only time that destiny has upset his tomato cart. This happens to him at least six times every year. Once he returned with a loaded cart of ripe tomatoes and it rained heavily for the next three days. No one came to the market and his stock rotted in front of his own eyes. Another time, instead of the weather, it was a political rally that snowballed into a confrontation between two rival groups and the locality closed down. And he is not alone in this game of extraneous factors that seize not only his business but also his life. He sees this happen to the “gol-gappa” seller, the peanut seller and the “vada pao” seller all the time. When their product does not sell, it just turns soggy. Sometimes they eat some of it. But how much of that stuff can you eat by yourself? So, they just give away some and there is always that one time when they have to simply throw it away.

    Away from the street-vendor selling perishable commodity with little or no life support system, the corporate world is an altogether different place. Here we have some of the most educated people in the country. We don the best garbs. We do not have to push carts; our carts push us. We have our salary, perquisites, bonuses, stock options, gratuities, pensions and our medical insurance and the group accident benefit schemes. Yet, all the while, we worry about our risks and think about our professional insecurity.

    We wonder, what would happen if the company shifted offices to another city? What would happen if the department closed down? What would happen if you were to take maternity leave and the temporary substitute delivered better work than you did? What would happen if the product line you are dealing with simply failed?

    In any of those eventualities, the worst that could happen would still be a lot less than having to see your cartful of tomatoes getting pulped under the screeching wheels of absolute strangers who have nothing personal against you. All too often we exaggerate our risks. We keep justifying our professional concerns till they trap us in their vicious downward spiral. Devoid of education, sophisticated reasoning and any financial safety net, the man with the cart is often able to deal with life much better than many of us.

    Is it time to look out of the window, into the eyes of that man to ask him, where does he get it from? In his simple stoicism, is probably, our lost resilience.

    The Cucumber Seller of Chennai - SUBROTO BAGCHI

    One of my friends sent me this PDF which had this article by Subroto Bagchi, COO Mindtree Consulting. I have posted them in this and one more in the next Blog.  

     

    On a hot July day, my colleague Moses and I were trying to locate our car on Chennai’s Nungambakkam High Road in front of Nalli Silks when I saw a roadside cart laden with cucumbers. The seller was vacantly gazing at passersby. Clad in a white shirt and a dhoti worn in the traditional Chennai style, he had long hair and an unkempt beard. I did not know Tamil, and asked Moses to find out the price. One rupee a piece, came the reply. We wanted one piece each. The cucumber seller began deftly slicing them to put salt and the delectable red chilly powder on the neat halves. As we bit into the cucumber, I asked Moses to tell him that his pricing was too low, and that he should raise it. Moses conveyed this. The seller shook his head, and replied that “customer satisfaction” is more important than extra profit.

    The words ‘customer satisfaction’ were in English. I gulped my patronizing comment. At this time, Moses excused himself to find our car. After a few moments, the seller asked me in English where I was from. From Bangalore, I replied. What follows here is our conversation. His statements are highlighted.

     Isn’t the Karnataka budget due to be presented tomorrow?

    Yes, that is true. Living in Karnataka,it was easy for me to concur on this.

    I wonder how the governments of Karnataka and Tamil Nadu will ever solve the watersharing problem. Man cannot solve this problem. It has to be God. After all, it is an issue of how much rain is going to fall!

    I nodded. I was not sure if I had a view at all.

    See the way the monsoon is progressing. It does not look good. The progress of the rains is leaving a ‘V’ of a dry patch as the clouds move north. Bihar, Orissa, Madhya Pradesh and the states up north will have problems. Politicians are the ones who use such problems to create a divide among people. They always do it. They use water, religion, anything they can, to create a divide. Look at the way Amarinder Singh of Punjab is taking a stand.

     I looked at him, in part admiration and part disbelief.

    You’re from Bangalore. Things are going well for you folks. But I don’t understand how

    people with shady business interests can become representatives of public opinion there.

    It was part complaint and part observation.

    At this point, a fellow peddler arrived — helped himself to some of the cucumber, and the two had a quick conversation on some issue I did not understand. After the other person left, I asked him if selling cucumber was his full-time vocation. He told me that right now it was. Earlier, he sold lottery tickets, the trading of which has since been banned. As a result he had to switch his business to selling cucumbers on the wheeled cart. No complaints and no issues. Meaning to engage him further, I asked him his religion. This drew an instant look of disappointment from him: “Sir, I am an Indian. That is my religion. In my eyes, all people are equal, and it does not matter to me at all.”

    The clarity of his response and his conviction took me completely by surprise. His net worth was probably equal to his day’s turnover. The newspaper and magazines he reads, to keep abreast of things, wipe off the disposable income he generates. Bare feet on this busy, dusty road, he sold a low-value, perishable product from a rickety cart. At peace with himself and with the world rushing past, this man was dressed in poverty. But in his presence, it was I who felt poor.

    We are not complete if we are not connected. It is only when we are connected that things make sense. Only when things make sense, we can form an opinion. Standing there, I wondered how many in the corporate world know who the chief minister of Punjab is, and about the progress of the monsoon! How many have an informed view on river water politics and budget proceedings of another state.

    Soon, Moses appeared with our car. It was time for me to go. I shook hands with the nameless cucumber seller of Chennai. Actually, I wanted to touch his feet.

     

    The Author of this article is considered to be one of the most influential Business Leaders in the Indian Industry.

     

    Google's Strategies GOOGLED

    A very curious onlooker found a presentation file released on Google's site revealing future plans of a product called GDrive which would allow user's to upload files and personal information to a drive like structure maintained by Google which could be accessed by users anywhere, anytime ( Gee, i was hoping for something different  ). Well the USP (Unique Selling Point) from Google is UNLIMITED space. ( I am completely surprised by this move from Google!!).
     
    Besides if you guys have come across the ads by Google for vacancies, they ask for ROOF TOPPING IQ's . And i will try to unveil the strategy of Google to keep their growth rate and revenues up. The strategy being followed by really high IQ'ed people is one which is followed by Saravana Bhavan ( Restaurant, now a mall in T Nagar, Chennai) . Build a mall with 10 restaurants and shops wholly owned by you, then the customers coming in will eat in one of the restaurant's and shop in atleast one of the shops. So this translates to profit from any shop.
     
    So in Google's point of view they are trying to own as much of the internet traffic as possible because atleast the ads are going to be clicked from one of their sources. Remember ORKUT ,FROOGLE and Google BASE. They are the fastest growing internet based products. Now they have released PAGE creator which allow users to create their own web pages. Here's the catch: these are going to be hosted by Google with google.com added to your url's( Why am i not surprised!!).
     
    At first Google didnot know anything about their users except which link they clicked, their location and a lot other bland stuff. But now with GMail and Orkut moreso (Remember WISHLIST morons) , they have all the juicy information about their users which ad companies will pay Big Bucks are for.
     
    Now with a briefcase like product hosted on Google's servers they have a constant click on Google's sites keeping their shareholders happy . I wish only the people conceptualising had a little more heart compared to the IQ's of the people who use these without reading the TERMS and CONDITIONS just to get more hearts in their Orkut profiles or a extra cent earned by their blogs.
    This is quite Heart Breaking indeed.